All weekend I was thinking about what I was doing ten years ago. I know exactly where I was within about a 20' by 20' area and I can probably guess what I was doing. I was either cross stitching, reading, playing cards with Ryan or watching the A-Team on TV. I was probably hooked up to the monitors to keep track of my babies' heart rate and my contractions, although as time went on I stopped wearing them because I knew I wasn't contracting and if I was worried about the baby I just took a drink of cold water and he immediately kicked me always in the same spot, plus he had the hiccups a lot. I was probably talking on the phone to one of my sisters or parents or friends reassuring them that everything was fine and totally believing that since the calm feeling I'd had ever since I received a blessing from my wonderful husband in late November. I had recently been on a wheelchair tour of the hospital's newly built NICU, the best NICU this side of the Mississippi, where I saw two pound babies in incubators and where I should have been terrified but I wasn't. Jeffey's due date was February 19, 2000 and I had been told that he would be in the NICU until at least then, if not longer. I had been briefed about how big he would be if he was born now, about lung immaturity, about disabilities and long term health issues that come with a very premature baby. But still that peaceful feeling stayed. My amniotic fluid kept dribbling out at random times and would surprise me and make me laugh. But I figured that if I kept drinking lots of water maybe I could make up the difference.
So now, ten years later I marvel at the calm sureness I had. Was it because I was young and didn't know better? He was my first baby so I couldn't have known how much I would love him. All I know is that I have had that calm feeling before and I know it didn't come from me. I am grateful to have our Jeffey safe with us where I can be frustrated with him and wish he could spell words correctly and not shout at his sisters, and I can blow him a kiss every morning when he goes to school (he keeps turning back and blowing them to me until I return the gesture, he never forgets), and I can have long quiet talks with him about making good choices and being kind.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude.
7 comments:
(tear) That was beautiful Al. You should send that in to the Ensign or something. I love you and I'm jealous you girls are singing without me!
Wow... hard to believe that all happened 10 years ago! What a blessing the comfort of the Spirit is. That is an amazing story and hopefully he knows how special his story is :). Happy Birthday Jefferson!!! Man, they grow up fast!
Very well written Alli.
That little boy just stacked his graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallow and skewered them all together. Are you sure he is normal?
Bah. Who wants normal, Amanda? How boring:)
I remember visiting you then and how calm you were too. Way calmer than when either of our husbands were losing at Phase 10 in your room:) I think of preemies and bed rest this time of year as well. It'll be 5 years for me in 8 days. We should be grateful shouldn't we? For every outburst and mess and proof that they are alive and well and STILL kicking. Loves!
Cute pictures!
Oh, I remember that time too, mostly because we were agonizing with our good friends, your parents. It's amazing that it has been 10 years. What an amazing gift Jefferson is, and what an amazing gift the Spirit is to comfort you at such a time, and give you peace about the outcome.
Im so glad you shared this in Rel So (Relief Society). I added to the lesson. I love you both dear friend!!!
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