Murder Most Fowl

Last night as Ryan and I were headed to bed, I was already tucked in warmly and Ryan was on his way down the hallway when I heard him exclaim, "Oh no, Cuddles!" And I could tell from the tone of his voice that she had done something terrible. I said, "Did she poop on the floor?". Because that is the worst thing I can think of doing and I was not at all excited about getting out of my warm bed to scrub poo. But to my surprise Ryan said, "No, she has something in her mouth." That was not what I was expecting, Cuddles isn't really a chewy dog, she chews on the kids toys or a carelessly laid toothbrush but nothing worth the bad vibe Ryan was throwing off. So I said, "What is it?" And he said, "Not what, who."

Then it slowly became clear. "How did she get him?" I said. Because I knew, she had somehow managed to get Dr Coconut. Dr Coconut, the pleasant little bird we have enjoyed these several months who flies freely around the living room. We knew Cuddles was interested in him as a plaything, but we figured he was safe because he always flew so high and he only alighted on the top of the blinds or his cage, neither of which Cuddles could reach. I searched my mind for the last time I had seen him alive, it was right as I came home from a meeting that night at nine. He was flying around and Ryan warned me to close the front door quickly in case he managed to fly out. I knew he never would, he likes us.

But that was a little over an hour ago and sure enough. Here came Cuddles into our room and quickly hid under the chair. We called her out and told her to drop her victim. She relented and poor Dr Coconut dropped to the floor looking a bit rumpled but intact. I knew there was no chance he was just faking but I still hoped he would pop up and fly away chittering angrily.

"What are we going to tell the kids?" I said. I was worried about the kids. I knew they would notice as soon as they were up that he wasn't in his customary spot singing, but I still hoped I could put off telling them the bad news until they came home from school. I didn't want that weighing them down.

I didn't sleep well that night. At some point Peter ended up with us in bed. I hate sleeping with children, they kick and I end up either squished between them and Ryan or teetering off the edge of the bed. But morning eventually came and Ryan went off to work before the kids were up and I tentatively went out to the living room to help them get ready for school and do our regular morning routine.

Sure enough, Tessa was the first to notice. She looked at his cage and said, "Where's Dr Coconut?" I didn't reply, hoping she would get distracted by something else, I watched her closely and she did seem to have a thought or two flit across her face that were not Dr Coconut related but a second later, she looked up on top of the blinds and didn't see him there and she locked in. I knew the ruse was up then. Pretty soon, Jeff was in on it, "Yeah, where is Dr Coconut?" I said, "I will tell you about Dr Coconut when you are all in here, go get Leah out of bed. You might as well get dressed for school while we wait."

Of course they didn't they just sat there and shouted for Leah to get out here. It took her a long time to come out and as soon as she did she said, "I know what happened to Dr Coconut. Cuddles got him, I already heard." I wondered if maybe Ryan had told her before he left for work, it seemed a stretch but I wasn't too surprised, Leah has a tendency to know exactly what is going on always. She was the first to crack our secret talking codes, we quickly learned that spelling words didn't work around her when she was very young and she became fluent in pig latin really quickly. We had to revert to simple spanish for a while but that didn't work either, we just didn't have a sufficient vocabulary.

But that is beside the point. I told the kids what happened, just like I told you, and they were devastated. Tears welled up. They couldn't decide if they were mad at Cuddles or not. Leah scolded Cuddles. I told them Cuddles probably just wanted to play with Dr Coconut and that she was probably surprised that he was so fragile. I think that made them feel better. They were relieved it was simply birdslaughter and not pre-meditated. We talked about getting new parakeets and about what color they might be and if they would let us hold them and so on. They were still pretty sad but we still had to get ready for school and get out the door so we moved it along and I distracted them a little more by us opening the scroll for today (we do an advent calendar in December and every day it has something different). They were pleased that we will be going to the temple to see the lights tonight.

I talked to Leah separately and asked her how she knew, she said she heard us talking last night and from her bed she watched Daddy carry Dr Coconut outside to the garbage. I asked her if she cried last night, she said she did. I said I had a tough night too. I guess the whole thing went pretty well, considering. Peter asked for a while where Dr Coconut was, we explained over and over that he was dead, no he is not in Cuddles mouth now, yes he was in there but we took him out. It is a sad day at our house. I miss that bird, he was a good bird.