Staying at Home

I've been thinking a lot about this subject lately.  Then this morning as I was grinding wheat and making a quadruple batch of whole wheat banana waffles and listening to the Mormon Channel, they played chapter ten of Spencer W. Kimball's "Faith Precedes the Miracle".  That chapter was all about a woman's influence in the home and how essential it is for family life and society as a whole for a mother to be at home with her children.  The story I liked best was that he was in the home of a family where the husband was off at work and the wife was upstairs sewing and President Kimball was working at the dining room table (I think he was in town for a stake conference or something and staying at the stake president's house?  Don't get mad if I get it wrong, I was mostly listening, but also feeding Jujo and smiling at Dinah and watering trees occasionally, plus the waffles).  He said that a kid came home from school and searched the house for his Mom, he said, "Mother?" when he couldn't immediately find her.  She called down from upstairs that she was up sewing.  He said, "Okay" then went out to play.  This was repeated four more times as the other kids came home at various times during the day.  They came in the door and immediately looked for their Mom and when they heard her voice they were calmed, felt safe, and secure.  She didn't have to come to them or have a big long conversation with them, as long as they knew she was there they were happy.  She was available for them.

He was very straight forward and blunt about the subject and even though it is certainly very controversial and gets feathers ruffled in our current society and people can say, 'Yeah, well he wrote that 40 years ago and things are way different now.'  So what that he wrote it 40 years ago?  It was a touchy topic then and an even more touchy topic now but that doesn't mean it isn't important or true. 

About 10 years ago our family resources were even tighter than usual and I was stressed about how we would meet our obligations so I decided that I would go back to work.  I went to the owner of the company where I'd worked for about 4 years when we were first married.  It was a small company, owned by Mormons, really nice people.  Well, I kind of figured it would be easy to get a job there because the owner really liked me, when I left a couple of years previously I was essentially his assistant, besides my other duties I was doing the payroll and other kind of important stuff there.  So I was confident. 

Well, we talked in his office for a little while and he asked about our family and how we were doing.  I told him about our three kids and how cute they were and about Ryan's school and that kind of stuff.  Then he told me that he wasn't going to hire me back.  And he told me kind of bluntly that I needed to be at home with our children. 

I admit I was kind of hurt, I had thought he liked me and liked my work but he was just turning me down!  It hurt my pride and my self confidence took a bit of a blow.  It has been a long time since that happened but I have come to appreciate and admire him for being wise enough to deny me what I wanted.  We struggled and had some stressful times financially since then but I have been at home with our babies.  Ryan stepped up to the bat and has very manfully carved out a place for himself professionally and has provided for us.  We have always had enough and I am frankly shocked at how blessed we have been and what a good place we are now considering the economic climate and the fact that Ryan has always been the only one working.  I know we have been directly blessed not just financially, but in our marriage and in our fantastic kids. 

It may seem lame to some that I am so happy to be spending my days changing diapers, scrubbing, doing laundry, cooking, painting bedrooms (that's this weeks task and it is kicking my hiney), and being here when the kids get home from school.  I am here.  I am on call all the time.  I can run to the school and bring them what they forgot.  I can give service to people who need it.  I can occasionally make dinner for my family (you would think I could do that every day but dinner planning is my nemesis). 

I am grateful.  So very grateful for the many blessings I have received for doing what was and is the harder but better way. 

Also, I burnt the last waffle I made because I was writing this.  You're welcome.  It smells like burnt waffle in here now.